This is something that i should've posted a way back, when
the Big O (as people stupidly call him) visited the country. It seems pretty
retarded to think that Bama here would actually go on a tour of an entire
continent and sit resolving the internal affairs of the countries involved (or
even dwell upon them). But then aren't our leaders happily contriving to
condemn the fate of the country towards complete senility?!
Back to Mr. Bama then, his convoys land at the airport around 2 days before his AF1 sees our soil for the first time.(and i'm hoping it’s the last)
The(not so) Secret Service apparently want to secure the area so that Bama's pocket isn't picked and he doesn't encounter any bhikaris and chhakkas on the streets. Mr. Bama, you really think that our beggar and eunuch community have no other work than to follow your Cadillac in an attempt to extort a couple of bucks from your driver? C'mon they know you aren't even close to being as wealthy as some of our MLA's. Also the security arrangements made for B.H.O.(hey, isn't that also an abbreviation of an expletive? bho****ke something??) were downright silly and the SS really need to get their brains checked. I mean, getting the coconuts from all the palm trees removed so that one of them doesn't fall onto Bho or on C1 creating a dent(its expensive to remove a dent from a bullet/explosive proof car you see). Also, why then were the birds allowed to fly freely? Some random crow (and we don't have a scarcity of them here) could've decided to relieve himself on C1 or on Bho even. Imagine na, Bho's brilliant black suit with a nice little white patch signifying the never ending bond between humans and nature!
So, the SS bums attempt to force their way on the cops and babus of the financial capital, actually thinking that they're going to make those hardheaded nuts budge. It doesn't work like that here guys! You need to shove wads of $100 bills into their…err…wallets if you're even considering making them work.
Once settled in the city, Bho then gives a nice speech on terrorist attacks in the city and how we faced up to them and our bravery... yada yada and how 'we' must turn CT and quickly departs for the national capital. Sir, we appreciate your acceptance that we've been brave and we have it in us to become CT's in the near future, but shouldn't you be looking at your own backyard, where a certain Sama has been hatching up big 'programs' for the betterment of his clan(he belongs to the T if i'm not mistaken)
Hey! Are we playing CS here or is this a post aimed at stultifying your thinking ability?? Anyway, moving onto more important matters.
Joke: What would you call Bama if he was a dog?
Bark Bama! :P
While leaving for the capital, Bho doesn't receive a red carpet send off(guess he was late and it got taken away for somebody more important)
The ensuing conversation was as follows:
Bho: I no get red carpet. I sad. I stay in plane till carpet come.
Mrs. Bho: You jerk, what ya cribbin' for? A carpet? Who da hell asked yo to go dancin' wid ol those kids 'er? Made a right fool out of yerself on T.V. ! The kids sent me a message 'er asking me why daddy playing monkey with school kids! You da one who late! Now get out of da f***in' chopper and place yo ass on dat aircraft!
So, as Bho and Mrs. are about to enter AF1;
Mr. 'Adarsh' Chavan: Sir, Sir, sorry for no red carpet. Your wind blows it away sir.(i know our food is spicy, but passing wind to blow away a carpet! :P ) We are giving away sea facing flat. Top quality sir, ekdum jhakaas. Bas sir you have to sign here saying that you will give our children some jobs when they come to your country(try re-reading this in a typical Marathi accent, it'll enhance the effect).
Bho: Well, your proposal isn't bad, we can consider it if you promise to let us interfere into your national matters as much as we want.
M.A.C: Yes sir, ok sir.
Bho: Ok then done *flicks out pen and signs* Goodbye.
AF1 takes off and Bho gets bye bye'd by MAC.
M.A.C(to his secretary) :Kasla chu aahe re, ghanta president. Dila Adarsh madhe majhya navacha flat, mee tari sutlo! (What a jerk, President eh? I've given him ownership of my flat in Adarsh, I’m free now)
Bho's visit to the National capital is not even worth a mention as he wasn't even close to being as entertaining as he was in my city(but still out of respect i mention it here)
More posts to follow, but only after I've managed to dig deeper into what's left of the stuff contained in my skull(and there isn't too much left with my job!)
Back to Mr. Bama then, his convoys land at the airport around 2 days before his AF1 sees our soil for the first time.(and i'm hoping it’s the last)
The(not so) Secret Service apparently want to secure the area so that Bama's pocket isn't picked and he doesn't encounter any bhikaris and chhakkas on the streets. Mr. Bama, you really think that our beggar and eunuch community have no other work than to follow your Cadillac in an attempt to extort a couple of bucks from your driver? C'mon they know you aren't even close to being as wealthy as some of our MLA's. Also the security arrangements made for B.H.O.(hey, isn't that also an abbreviation of an expletive? bho****ke something??) were downright silly and the SS really need to get their brains checked. I mean, getting the coconuts from all the palm trees removed so that one of them doesn't fall onto Bho or on C1 creating a dent(its expensive to remove a dent from a bullet/explosive proof car you see). Also, why then were the birds allowed to fly freely? Some random crow (and we don't have a scarcity of them here) could've decided to relieve himself on C1 or on Bho even. Imagine na, Bho's brilliant black suit with a nice little white patch signifying the never ending bond between humans and nature!
So, the SS bums attempt to force their way on the cops and babus of the financial capital, actually thinking that they're going to make those hardheaded nuts budge. It doesn't work like that here guys! You need to shove wads of $100 bills into their…err…wallets if you're even considering making them work.
Once settled in the city, Bho then gives a nice speech on terrorist attacks in the city and how we faced up to them and our bravery... yada yada and how 'we' must turn CT and quickly departs for the national capital. Sir, we appreciate your acceptance that we've been brave and we have it in us to become CT's in the near future, but shouldn't you be looking at your own backyard, where a certain Sama has been hatching up big 'programs' for the betterment of his clan(he belongs to the T if i'm not mistaken)
Hey! Are we playing CS here or is this a post aimed at stultifying your thinking ability?? Anyway, moving onto more important matters.
Joke: What would you call Bama if he was a dog?
Bark Bama! :P
While leaving for the capital, Bho doesn't receive a red carpet send off(guess he was late and it got taken away for somebody more important)
The ensuing conversation was as follows:
Bho: I no get red carpet. I sad. I stay in plane till carpet come.
Mrs. Bho: You jerk, what ya cribbin' for? A carpet? Who da hell asked yo to go dancin' wid ol those kids 'er? Made a right fool out of yerself on T.V. ! The kids sent me a message 'er asking me why daddy playing monkey with school kids! You da one who late! Now get out of da f***in' chopper and place yo ass on dat aircraft!
So, as Bho and Mrs. are about to enter AF1;
Mr. 'Adarsh' Chavan: Sir, Sir, sorry for no red carpet. Your wind blows it away sir.(i know our food is spicy, but passing wind to blow away a carpet! :P ) We are giving away sea facing flat. Top quality sir, ekdum jhakaas. Bas sir you have to sign here saying that you will give our children some jobs when they come to your country(try re-reading this in a typical Marathi accent, it'll enhance the effect).
Bho: Well, your proposal isn't bad, we can consider it if you promise to let us interfere into your national matters as much as we want.
M.A.C: Yes sir, ok sir.
Bho: Ok then done *flicks out pen and signs* Goodbye.
AF1 takes off and Bho gets bye bye'd by MAC.
M.A.C(to his secretary) :Kasla chu aahe re, ghanta president. Dila Adarsh madhe majhya navacha flat, mee tari sutlo! (What a jerk, President eh? I've given him ownership of my flat in Adarsh, I’m free now)
Bho's visit to the National capital is not even worth a mention as he wasn't even close to being as entertaining as he was in my city(but still out of respect i mention it here)
More posts to follow, but only after I've managed to dig deeper into what's left of the stuff contained in my skull(and there isn't too much left with my job!)
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