Ab ki baar..bas karo yaar!

Warning: The following post contains references to senile people or events. Parental Guidance is advised.

(As usual, I’m late in writing something on a relevant topic. After my last attempt at utilizing my so called gray matter in combining words to make sense, here is another bit of tepidity from the vault.)

Circa April 2014(yes it seems that far back now) and my country had its 5 yearly dose of elections that help satisfy her democratic intentions.  In the “glorious” 68 year history, (yes 68 only, before that it feels like apartheid era South Africa) this was one of the most one sided elections, where the opposition served as a filler. Ironically silly as it may sound, a dynasty was the ruling party in India for the last 10 years. Some democracy that! The fact that they were all but awful in every aspect remains another story and shall be dealt with at a later time.

Their apparent alliance called the UPA, aimed to take India UPA[r] but all that they succeeded in doing was causing the economy to slide towards an infinite abyss. The Indian economy was taking a hit, inflation was rising at the rate of knots and all this while something big was going UPA[r] for them, atleast personally. That something has Gandhi Uncle’s photo on it and boy does he seem chuffed about being there!

Having stashed away a blue-whale load of Gandhi uncles in white cross flagged banks, our famed dynasty tried to take another potshot at success in the democracy(and stash some more uncles in the white crosses). They campaigned and made huge banners, posters and advertisements which made one feel that they were up for another tryst with my country’s people. But it all went downhill as soon as their El Supremo, Mr. Trinity, RAG, call him what u want proved that money can buy you everything, apart from a brain (you see, brain transplants require the subject to have some of the pink stuff already present within the cranium).

So, when the man with 4 vocal cords and a dB level equal to a fleet of F-16’s in supersonic flight interviewed Mr. Trinity, all hell broke loose(if hell is this senile I pity Satan). Mr. Goswami reduced (or increased) Mr. Trinity to the level of us engineering students at our vivas, where we believe in ‘If you can’t convince them, confuse them’. El Supremo though, did manage to convince everybody that his skull is as empty as the opposite end of a black hole.

The election thus was eventually and obvious won by whoever were opposite the dynasty democrats! In this case it happened to be Mr. NM (nope he doesn’t own the college..yet), who won it piggybacking on a great PR agent and a major hammering on people’s ears, eyes and brains  of “ABKI BAAR…SARKAR!” Bloody everything from tar, to a car to Chama… (sorry I’m not racist) was used to form a dumb rhyme. But as dumb as it was, it led to a landslide victory for out chaiwallah (excuse the slumdog reference but then again, I have to increase the length of the post). God damn it worked just fine and my country now has a new PM. The Italian job finally came to an end and the mafia must be trembling, wondering about the havoc if our Italian imports return to their homeland. Poor Ol’ Silvio, already fighting a huge case and now the prospect of this!

NM has promised to make India into Japan (yes no China this time, maal tikta nahi hai na jaasti), what with the bullet train and a possible $35bn influx into the mother nation! For all of its effectiveness and future use(hell no!) it finally got to my nerves when I saw a poster which read, “AB HAR BAAR..SARKAR”.

It made me scream, yes literally and made a few heads turn on the railway bridge, “AB KI BAAR, BAS KARO YAAR!!!!”

p.s. The writer has just awoken from a 3 year slumber. Stultification of your mental growth after reading will be expected.