Hakuna MatAA(p)ta

General elections took place this week in my national capital and results were declared “yesterday evening” (yup, my English is poor) resulting in a landslide victory for the Mango Man Party (MMP). A certain muffler clad mango man called upon his army of mango men in the state to decimate the oppositions headed by a tea vendor and a retard. Mangoes, tea, retards, perfect start to an article which will be read by 2 people…me and myself <insert narcissistic comment>

Quite a few things are going to change in my national capital though and me being Dr. Rohit Mehra..”Aila mujhe sab dikhta hai, sab dekh sakta hoon..main future dekhunga, PK ko bulaunga!” (to be read in with this expression:

Test tube mein future dikhega!

1) MMP will be asked to change its logo to Vacuum Cleaner after a case filed in the Supreme Court. The retard party took objection to the current logo (broom). A spokesperson will quote:

“Jhaadoo itna safaya nahi kar sakta. Vacuum cleaner hota toh hum maan bhi lete.”

2) The MMP though will change its logo to Bamboo. Afterall, sabki ‘G’ mein daal diya hai!

3) The MMP will select Day-tall as its prime sponsor. Just like the advert for the soap shows, mango men also cleaned the state barring a few germs here and there.

4) Muffler sales will take a massive boost and will generally get overpriced. Indian cricket players will wear mufflers instead of helmets in the upcoming world cup. A few mufflers will be stolen from overpriced shops. People and players will be seen shouting “We won’t give it back”.

5) Remember Dexter’s Lab, where he has a sister Dee-Dee. Well our dynasty retard will have a sister too; she will be called Bay-dee. Dee-Dee is cute, on the other hand Bay-dee is well..a garba singer! Here’s proof:

"Bay-dee hoon mai"

6) Mango Man leader will look to score a half century at least, this time around. After being dismissed for 49, he will pray not to get run-out on 99. If he does, this would then be a good thing. Bama effect you see; $1, $2 shops will become a rage, only that they’ll be called 49-99 shops (well..they already are)

7) I will learn to make better jokes and not laugh at them myself. Well...NO!