COME ON INDIA…NO FOOTBALL!

Bonjour les amis!

After a bit of a hiatus from writing, I’m back to meddle with your brains while I attempt to locate my own (in vain). In spite of promising you and myself that I’ll write anything but sports on this blog, the sports freak in me let me down. And as all promises are meant to be broken (Guys, try telling that to your girlfriend and meet me if you survive) this one too meets the same fate. I couldn’t stave off the mother ship and in any case, the blog is based on world affairs and sport is a world affair (ball games…err…you get the point)

Rather strangely though, it is a world affair apart from Cricket, which has been downgraded to the status of a local sport now. Not exactly, with the Chinese taking to bats and balls after failing to drive, but Shaolin Cricket and racist jibes isn’t what I’m discussing here.

You have to believe that a country blessed with sportsmen of the caliber of Venkatpathy Raju and top notch athletes like Munaf Patel must be brimming with talent in the sporting industry. With fitness connoisseurs like Viru and VVS in their ranks, always ready to give a tri-athlete a run for his money, Indian Sport is in safe hands.

See what I did there? I’m Indian goddammit and the only sport I know is cricket so my analogies and examples are bound to revolve around the gentleman’s game. Cricket is my religion and… nonsense of the sort.

My peers and friends (yes I do have friends too) have asked me as to why India is top notch at cricket and equally abject at other sports. I never put too much thought into this, putting it down to genetics, interest and a penchant to do minimum work.

The best football player…no not soccer, you nosey republicans! How a sport that involves throwing a leather egg can be called football mystifies me. But we’ll deal with that on a later date. Coming back, the best football player in the world, a certain CR7 said sometime back that he was frustrated with his country’s abject performances at world events. Although he was captain, the others have to pass that round thing to him, of which they were/are incapable. He narrowed down the reason to Portugal; a small nation with small copu… err population, incapable of producing quality players on a regular basis.

Sir I request you to play for India. We have a rich Portuguese history in Mumbai which also has a Santacruz, so you’ll feel totally at home. Also we have a huge fanbase which is much more than the population of your country. Major concern also solved mate! We aren’t a small country incapable of producing talent.

We are a billion plus people, rooting for you with all our might and totally incapable of producing 20 world beaters (and I mean w.r.t. sports and not literally). The fact that we suck at both is another story altogether.

Yes my friends, the most populous country in the world and the best that we’ve managed to far in producing Europe quality football players is: Sun-Chet. In Sporting Lisbon’s B team. Without  getting a game.

Seriously? B-team? No game time there too?
My friend, Mr. Patil had to say this,”Arre bhai he captain no in country? How you not take him to kick-ball?

But Mr. Patil, he no able kick ball also better than 17 yr old Portugalese kid.

Enough with the rubbish English, lest the Queen sue me.

I can very well get down and serious into the nitty-gritty’s of why we can’t make the cut or what is lacking in Indian football, or other sports in general but I’m apparently not mature enough yet. Although the ISL is a decent move, it doesn’t seem anything other than a pension plan for retired footballers. So till we really improve from the roots upwards, its… COME ON INDIAAAA…NO FOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!