First
things first..contrary to what the title suggests, this post does not contain
any references to a love story or a silly movie with the same name. It’s just
the first title that came to my mind.
DISCLAIMER: The following article is just an attempt by a totally serious and fun-hating person to be comic and throw some light upon a few current affairs in a humorous manner. If the sentiments of any living being of any nationality have been hurt, it shows your lack of a little sense of humor and inability to see things on the lighter side.
Here comes the pain..............................................
During my school days (yes i have been to school) the teachers often told us to write an essay or give a short speech on the Indo-Pak issue; how it could be sorted and the merits of a sort out or of some fictitious merge between the two neighbors. Back in those days i was sane and followed the instructions given and believed that the two countries should make peace (and wrote an awful no. of pages on such).
Now things have changed. I've grown up (laugh) and no more see any point in the two nations changing the stand that they've held since 1947. I'll explain why they should never never never merge and why the split is beneficial (albeit with a large no. of nonsensical examples).
Starting with the topic that natives of both countries always have an opinion on… Cricket!
I still remember one of my friends coming up with a point saying that a merge between the two nations would give a team with a turquoise blue kit and Sachin n Shoaib in the same team and similar garbage. But can somebody please explain why would any team want to play in a hopelessly garish turquoise blue color??(Unless you're New Zealand from the early noughties & even they've developed better sense since)
And why would you want to deprive the cricketing fraternity of the most endearing one on one contest in sport??(That Shoaib occasionally resembles Salman Khan is not to be considered)
Now, coming to our dear newswallahs. Poor reporters, what would they do if the Indo-Pak issues ceased to exist? Whom would they blame, whom would they criticize??
A couple of news bulletins that were doing the rounds… "Padosi mulk ne fir diya dhokha"… or "Pak terrorists enter Mumbai."
Now if India n Pakistan were to merge (GOD FORBID) the headlines would read:
"Multan rajya ke vasiyon ne Rajasthaniyon ka kiya jeena haram"
and
"A few gangsters from Sind cause trouble in Maharashtra"
Doesn't make for a very interesting reading does it?? I don’t think you'd even bother going past the headlines on those two!!
The mighty cross border terrorism issues would be reduced o the status of a puny civil war and would then have no bearing on our lives whatsoever!
As for the daily discussions on top channels like Times Now, poor Mr. Goswami would be unemployed. Every other day he ends up screaming his head off on some cross border issue!
If these two points haven't convinced you that friendship isnt needed… read on (and even if you are convinced and want to waste some more time… carry on)
How can you talk about India Pakistan and not mention the most talked about marriage in “recent” times (other than Rakhi Sawant/Rahul Mahajan)
Shoaib Malik and a certain Sania Mirza got married a while back and the fact that Shoaib is a Pakistan cricketer got a lot of tongues wagging.
Had Indo-Pak peace taken place any time before the wedding we'd have lost a major topic of discussion and Sania her 20 days of fame.
Coming to geography now, imagine the pain that cartographers would have to go through in redrawing the maps and renaming the country Indistan… or Padia(neither of which sounds great) and creates another controversy as to which nations name will head the merged name.
Also, the prospect of two Punjabs, two Hyderabads gets me feeling sick just by the thought, so just think of the plight of the poor kids at school. The longest river in the country would suddenly change from the Ganga to Indus, thus resulting in the most holy river of India (or the world maybe) losing a few brownie points :P
A few more examples to further emphasize that all the effort both the Goverments are putting in could be stopped and put to better use ie: sleeping peacefully :D
DISCLAIMER: The following article is just an attempt by a totally serious and fun-hating person to be comic and throw some light upon a few current affairs in a humorous manner. If the sentiments of any living being of any nationality have been hurt, it shows your lack of a little sense of humor and inability to see things on the lighter side.
Here comes the pain..............................................
During my school days (yes i have been to school) the teachers often told us to write an essay or give a short speech on the Indo-Pak issue; how it could be sorted and the merits of a sort out or of some fictitious merge between the two neighbors. Back in those days i was sane and followed the instructions given and believed that the two countries should make peace (and wrote an awful no. of pages on such).
Now things have changed. I've grown up (laugh) and no more see any point in the two nations changing the stand that they've held since 1947. I'll explain why they should never never never merge and why the split is beneficial (albeit with a large no. of nonsensical examples).
Starting with the topic that natives of both countries always have an opinion on… Cricket!
I still remember one of my friends coming up with a point saying that a merge between the two nations would give a team with a turquoise blue kit and Sachin n Shoaib in the same team and similar garbage. But can somebody please explain why would any team want to play in a hopelessly garish turquoise blue color??(Unless you're New Zealand from the early noughties & even they've developed better sense since)
And why would you want to deprive the cricketing fraternity of the most endearing one on one contest in sport??(That Shoaib occasionally resembles Salman Khan is not to be considered)
Now, coming to our dear newswallahs. Poor reporters, what would they do if the Indo-Pak issues ceased to exist? Whom would they blame, whom would they criticize??
A couple of news bulletins that were doing the rounds… "Padosi mulk ne fir diya dhokha"… or "Pak terrorists enter Mumbai."
Now if India n Pakistan were to merge (GOD FORBID) the headlines would read:
"Multan rajya ke vasiyon ne Rajasthaniyon ka kiya jeena haram"
and
"A few gangsters from Sind cause trouble in Maharashtra"
Doesn't make for a very interesting reading does it?? I don’t think you'd even bother going past the headlines on those two!!
The mighty cross border terrorism issues would be reduced o the status of a puny civil war and would then have no bearing on our lives whatsoever!
As for the daily discussions on top channels like Times Now, poor Mr. Goswami would be unemployed. Every other day he ends up screaming his head off on some cross border issue!
If these two points haven't convinced you that friendship isnt needed… read on (and even if you are convinced and want to waste some more time… carry on)
How can you talk about India Pakistan and not mention the most talked about marriage in “recent” times (other than Rakhi Sawant/Rahul Mahajan)
Shoaib Malik and a certain Sania Mirza got married a while back and the fact that Shoaib is a Pakistan cricketer got a lot of tongues wagging.
Had Indo-Pak peace taken place any time before the wedding we'd have lost a major topic of discussion and Sania her 20 days of fame.
Coming to geography now, imagine the pain that cartographers would have to go through in redrawing the maps and renaming the country Indistan… or Padia(neither of which sounds great) and creates another controversy as to which nations name will head the merged name.
Also, the prospect of two Punjabs, two Hyderabads gets me feeling sick just by the thought, so just think of the plight of the poor kids at school. The longest river in the country would suddenly change from the Ganga to Indus, thus resulting in the most holy river of India (or the world maybe) losing a few brownie points :P
A few more examples to further emphasize that all the effort both the Goverments are putting in could be stopped and put to better use ie: sleeping peacefully :D
- A
merger would create the world’s largest army having nobody to attack.
- Having
Bazpee, Son-ya, Chingh, She-dam-baram, Mush, Q-reshi, Key-ani in the same
"Democratic" Government would be a recipe for disaster and would
amount to cruelty.(not that it’s any different now)
- Kashmir
would be unknown to the world and most of India/Pakistan if a peace treaty
had been signed around 1947-1950.
- The
poor jobless American democrats would be wondering where their next
"poke our nose into other nations" is gonna come from.
- And
recently i read an article that mentioned cross selling of Indian and
Pakistani beer. All in an attempt to promote good relations. Nobody in
India would purchase Pakistani beer and vice-versa if peace had been
accepted already!!
I hope the above article has opened your eyes. Promise me that you will convince your respective governments to stop any peace talk immediately. (If you are Indian or Pakistani)
If you are American, no need to do anything. PLEASE.
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